we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize