Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
