I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
