Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Randomize
