Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize