respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
