This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
