You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
