you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
