is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
