no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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