Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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