Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
