Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
you made out with another girl for some wings
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
