I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
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