Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
