Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Randomize
