i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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