yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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