i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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