I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
