yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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