Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
someone owes me an orgasm
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
