So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I woke up under a house in Key West
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
