Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
