Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
We need to get me chipped asap
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
