WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
