before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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