don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
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