is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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