He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
you are never too drunk for berry picking
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
