whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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