so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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