I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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