i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Mom said you looked used
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
They took my balls.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
