stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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