Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Randomize
