no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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