My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
