imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize