She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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