Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
