I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
