obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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