I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
