And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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