i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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