I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
