if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
