My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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