Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I cockslap morals
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
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