so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
we're chasing vodka with high fives
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
