you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Let's paint friendship bongs
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
