super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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