i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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