If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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