dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
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