none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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